I think that when people ask gay people: “So…are you top or bottom?” can be pretty aggravating at times. I don’t mind divulging that information to people I’m close with. I think what annoys me about the question is when people imply things out of it. For example, if I were to say I’m a bottom, one is more inclined to think that I’m more feminine, more submissive, more “fragile”, and has this twink image to them. If I were to say I’m a top, one would think I’m more manly, more heterosexual, and just more masculine overall. Yes, I do tend to joke around with my friends and say things like, “So..you like to take it up the butt huh?” but I don’t actually let sex positions define someone’s character. You don’t see people going around classifying people based on heterosexual relationships because there is just defined gender roles that we’ve been taught all our lives. If you have a vagina, you’re clearly a woman and if you have a penis you’re clearly a man.
We enjoy stereotyping and we enjoy trying to put things into categories so that things make more sense to us and we just feel the need to match homosexual relationships to something similar, in our minds, to a heterosexual relationship. We have this urge to just classify one as the female, which is just pretty offensive if you ask me.
Not only that, we have a lot of people who are able to do both positions. It is not something where if you’re a top, God decreed you could only be a top. All the time it just depends on the relationship you’re in, who the person is, etc. I mean there are relationships all the time where the couple just switches it up. There’s no definitive role here. It’s just a preference. I prefer dating males, but you don’t see me fitting that general stereotype, so why should whatever sex position I am define me as well?